From Yuri To Yuri (continued)

From Yuri To Yuri _ Japanese Womanhood Across Borders Of Time
A Contemporary Renku Poem (a work in progress) continued from previous:
By Yuri Matsueda and Yuri Kageyama

(7)

i finally know / why being young hurts more / it's not just we feel everything more clearly/ we don't have as many memories / everything isn't yet a blur/ you haven't felt this anguish, have you, this same pain / babies/ wanted unwanted/ Cesareans, abortions, stillbirths, breech births, miscarriage/ that little baby who never was / we're harassed on the job, molested on the train, date-raped and then raped by that stranger that criminal you despise but can barely remember his face / we lose weight and self-confidence and dreams / we can't find a job/ we are vulnerable / hungering for love, respect, understanding / when we know better / really / that no one understands/ we watch them die, hobbled, losing their minds, decaying with cancer, bed-ridden, speechless / we stand alone when they leave / face to face/ the hole / a dirt-filled grave/ we no longer bear the waiting of that fetus growing within us / wanted unwanted / no longer thirst for love / reaching for that partner / for babies/ wanted unwanted/ we don't remember / in/ our own death/ we can't forget /

(8)

死は容赦なく前触れもなく


楽で
退屈しのぎに
乱暴に
消費した
時間の先に
唐突な
死があって
立ち止まると


静かな愛があった

(9)

you are my daughter
the little girl i never had
that woman asleep in my son's arms
nursing a new life that has yet to be

but i see you are gone
leaving behind nothing
but a deep passage of time
and a shaking pool of tears


(10)

駆け上った
階段
廊下の窓をこじ開ける
煙突探して
目を凝らすも
ただ白い雲が過ぎてゆく

カラカラ積もる
珊瑚礁のよう
吹けばたちまち塵となる
風に乗ってどこへ行く
あおい空へ伸びてゆく

(11)

sky
scattered
clouds
dreams
dissipate

i fly

without wings
sky

swooping
endless

***

(12)

throw me in the seven seas
where my young breasts freeze

in the black waters

my hair

they gleam

and I float

lost in time

I am so lost in time